I Am Fire! I Am Death!

Me moving out is more like me wandering around my parents house going ‘this is mine…this is mine… This is also mine…this isn’t mine but I want it so it’s mine now…’

The Maze Runner is out and currently playing like 4 miles from me but I CANT GO TO SEE IT because I have to move half way across the country.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGG

Guess Who’s Moving to MUTHA FUKIN Buffalo! 

ladyhistory:

The thrilling Captioned Adventures of George Washington.

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII | PART IX

glamorousbananas:

A selfy for you all

glamorousbananas:

A selfy for you all

My brother is getting married tomorrow and my mom is in my 14 year old sisters room trying to convince her not to go to school.

itlooksgoodfromouterspace:

iwonderhowlongicanmakemyusername:

I love this comics

I’M GONNA BUILD A DECK

Listen up you fucker. Either you need to stop posting those shitty stories and messaging me about how much weight you lost in the fucking mountains or I will come to your fucking house and marry the shit out of you. Thats right. Cut that shit out or else your last name…its going to me mine. Im going to come into your home, have your fucking children and cry all over your shoulder when they graduate from kindergarten. Im going to watch you mow our god damn yard and maybe even make you lemonaid and cookies. Your stupid ass is going to drive me and our children on a vacation every fucking year where im going to take way to many pictures then drop the camera in a lake or some shit. Im going to be really upset when our dumb ass daughter starts talking back and your going to have to step the fuck up and fix it with some nice words and a whole lot of kissing, maybe a little bit of grounding too. And when Shes married and out of the house Im going to complain about me never getting to see her and you are going to keep your fucking mouth shut because we have been together so long you know I both mean it and dont mean it. And after like 50 years of this shit, when we are old and gray and you have to remind me that i’m beautiful every other day, I hope you will know that all of this shit is your fucking shitty ass’s fault. I fucking told you i would and I fucking did.

all of my problems in life would be fixed if I didn’t have an apartment.